I went out tonight to get a haircut and a flu shot, and I almost came back with a disco ball and a giant ceramic grizzly bear head. Because I’m that kind of guy.
And because those things were CHEAP. I finally found something I’d been missing since I moved away from Queens so many years ago — a cool ethnic neighborhood. Virginia does have them! And they’re just full of really cool, friendly people; Mom-and-Pop businesses; and discount stores.
The discount stores are occasionally confusing to navigate — I found socks, wristwatches, Mary statuettes and cereal, for example all displayed neatly side by side. But everything costs so LITTLE. I swear that there was a man-size metal Christmas tree for $10.
My haircut was inexpensive too. I flirted with the Spanish woman who rang me up, employing what little Spanish I have a handle on. It totally fell flat. When I lived in Queens the Spanish girls down the street at the deli would break into peals of laughter whenever I said, “Estoy en fuego por tu.” I’ll try that line next time.
I also saw one of those “Chicken Pollo” restaurant signs across the highway from the haircut place. But I though it said “Chicken Polio,” because I left my glasses at home, and I ate at Wendy’s, which had a sign that I could read.
Anyway, check out the Christmas tree and Christmas mug I bought below! They are my first Christmas decorations of the year. Although … maybe the tree actually DOES lend credence to the perceived “War on Christmas,” because, seriously, the price tag only says, “TREE, metal layered.” And … it’s red. (I’ve lost track of whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.) I should write an angry letter to the people in China who made it.
I still want that ceramic grizzly bear head.
Can a single guy still shop at “Family Dollar?”
Honestly? This entire post is kinda sad on number of levels.