I’m supposed to be eating healthier.

But I just got back from shopping, and I’m pretty sure I bought ALL the Taco Bell.

I’ve occasionally run pictures of me on this blog, and, I swear to you, I am carefully endeavoring to hide my giNORmous pot belly.  I look like I’m pregnant.  I look like I have a beer belly, and I haven’t had a beer in years.  I look like my “spirit animal” is a pot-bellied pig.

I might just ask for help from the Internet community.  I might publish my cell phone number on this blog and on Facebook, and just ask everyone to call me at all hours of the day and night, and just scream at me to “STOP EATING SUGAR AND FATTY FOODS!!” And then just hang up.  That’ll teach me.

This madness has got to stop.

Also … you people could also scream at me to do my laundry on a timely basis, and to stop being such a prick about people’s religions.  (I could use some mellowing out.)





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