Heyyyyy, I’m losing weight. I think I lost 11 pounds since … I dunno, the last time I publicly whined about it here.
The trick is this — eat M&M’s in bed while watching Battlestar Galactica reruns, until Gaius Baltar’s shenanigans become so revolting that you inevitably drop M&M’s without realizing it. Awakening after midnight, you find crushed M&M’s in your sheets like the sticky, crushed carcasses of blue- and orange-backed beetles.
You develop a revulsion toward M&M’s, and therefore eat less of them. (Less, fewer, whatever.) I’m a goddam genius.
Seriously, though, frak Gaius Baltar.