Brevity is the soul of wit …




“Roses Are Red”

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

This poem doesn’t rhyme,



“Squirrel Haiku”

Those God damn squirrels
Dodging in front of my car …
Next time, I won’t swerve!


“Ode To Insomnia”

O, Insomnia!
I thought I’d lost you,
You reappearing keeper of sleeplessness,
You ever awakening angel,
You fickle little midnight affliction …
(Seriously, though, fuck you.)


“Difficult Haiku”

Haikus can be fun,

But difficult to write well,

Because it’s just too damn difficult to adequately express oneself within the required minimum number of syllables.


“Elizabeth Mitchell Haiku”

Elizabeth Mit–
–chell, I suck at haiku. Please!
Love me anyway!


On Oedipus:

Oedipus didn’t have a girlfriend exactly, but he did have a significant mother.


“Ode to Lucy Liu”

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Summer is hot,

And so’s Lucy Liu.


“Borderline Poem”

Am I doing things

only half-assed

if I’m only a borderline





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